Do other people influence your weight loss efforts?

 

I have included a really useful Workbook in The Full-Bodied Evolution Members Club to help you work through the process outlined below:

 

You may or may not have noticed the impact other people can have on your weight loss efforts. If you have been overweight forever then chances are, comments and attitudes towards you have taken up residence in your head. I’m not just talking about the obvious, hurtful comments but also the other kind! The kind that you might just accept! Worse still, you might believe them! There are three different ways that other people can influence your weight and once you become aware of these, it is much easier to fight back.

 

• Ignorant comments: These can come from close family, parents, friends or even strangers. The problem with these comments is that they really stick. Especially when they are from close family as they will often be repeated over a long period of time and you can start to believe them. Being commented at by people who barely know you is somewhat shocking too and can have a lasting impact.

 

Some of the ones that I have been told are: ‘You should be a size 8’- I was thinking about this and I have never, ever been a size 8. It is an ignorant comment because even when I had my best body ever I was a 10 and it looked fantastic on me! I would hate to be a size 8. It isn’t the natural ‘happy weight’ for me.

 

Others include: ‘You can never be too thin’, ‘women with big boobs are unattractive’, ‘Audrey Hepburne has the perfect figure’ and so on….. A lot of the time, other people don’t realise how ignorant they sound and they don’t think they are saying anything wrong.

 

So how do you deal with these comments?

 

Firstly you must challenge them even in your own head. When I took the time to break down my comments it became so obvious that it was their problem, not mine. Once you realise this, their words will lose their power and you can simply move on.

 

So think about some of yours now. Write them down and ask yourself: Is this true? Is this an absolute fact?

 

For each one write down your challenges. Defend yourself on paper. It really helps to solidify your argument.

 

• Physical gestures: giving you a bigger helping of food, being forceful towards you to have seconds or a bigger piece of dessert, topping up your wine constantly, applying social pressure to drink even when you don’t want to and so on. All these little gestures can have a huge impact on your weight loss efforts. Especially in a family environment because it is constant. Maybe your partner is being kind and always gives you the extra bit of pasta or saves you the last bit of chocolate.

 

What can you do about it?

 

Become aware of when these physical gestures happen. Is it at home? Around certain people?

 

Make a list of behaviours and physical gestures that are hindering your weight loss efforts. Often we don’t even notice them.

 

For each one decide how you will deal with it and write it down. Often simply explaining to someone that you don’t find their physical gesture supportive because it is working against you, will be enough. If not then on to plan B.

 

Just say NO. Learn to get really good at this because it is the most empowering thing when you are trying to lose weight. If they put it on your plate anyway, don’t eat it to be polite. They aren’t being polite in forcing the food onto you. Eventually they will get the message.

 

• Attitudes based on other peoples beliefs: Do you sometimes feel invisible? Not just to men but to women too. Do people start acting like your opinion doesn’t matter or talking over you? People have a lot of beliefs about other people.

 

The trouble is, when you are overweight, a lot of the beliefs people have about you simply aren’t true.

 

You know this, you wish they knew it. People assume you are lazy so they never invite you to do active things, people assume you don’t eat healthily most of the time, people think you hate your body or are unhappy etc…

 

Remember:

 

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.

 

No truer words were ever spoken. People DO judge about weight but it says more about them than it does about you. It shows that they are judgy!

 

Your body is absolutely NONE of their business.

 

You have a right to be here, to take up space, to be seen and heard. It is time you claim the space and fill it with your own confidence. It’s easy to feel like you need to justify and apologise for your body. In our society we are taught to only feel shame for who we are and what we look like. Shame makes us feel small and want to hide.

 

The thing is when we are in ‘little’ mode, we shy away from joining a fun class, doing joyful things, getting out there and being present in the world.

 

This makes us sedentary and that makes it almost impossible to lose weight.

 

If you want to truly move forward with your weight loss journey then come out of the shadows, join the land of the living, claim your space! You don’t have to be thin to have an opinion.

 

Make a list of what you think other people think of you. Challenge each one as you did above and then write what you are going to do about it.

 

As always, drop me comment below, plus don’t forget to join my private Facebook Group if you haven’t done so already……and remember The Full-Bodied Evolution Members Club has a wealth of materials and a growing community of like-minded people to help you on your weight loss journey! Plus, you can always find me on both Instagram and Pinterest for more lifestyle food and fitness tips!

….and don’t forget to listen to The Full-Bodied Evolution Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!